When you start an in vitro fertilisation (IVF) treatment, conversations often revolve around tests, results and success rates. But behind every treatment there is another, less visible reality: its emotional impact.
Expectations, uncertainty, anxiety during waiting periods, doubts and frustration are emotions that many women have to manage. This emotional strain comes on top of the physical demands of treatment, especially when the process takes longer than expected. It can also affect your relationship with your partner, your social life and the way you see yourself. That is why, sometimes, seeking psychological support from a professional can be helpful.
At Dexeus Mujer, we offer psychological support to our IVF patients if they wish. “Going through the process with the right information and support can help you see things more clearly and make decisions with greater peace of mind,” explains Sandra García Lumbreras, Head of the Psychology Unit at Dexeus Mujer. “It is not about always staying positive or having everything under control, but about having the resources to navigate each stage with greater calm, confidence and support,” she adds. In this post, she shares some advice that may help.
10 tips for looking after your emotional well-being
Understanding what is happening can make you feel more secure
Ask any questions you may have and seek information from your medical team. Understanding your diagnosis, the available treatment options and your realistic chances of success can help you make decisions with greater confidence and peace of mind.
Adjusting your expectations does not mean giving up hope
It is important to be aware that you are embarking on a journey that involves several stages and, sometimes, unexpected turns or new approaches. Having realistic expectations can help you go through the process with less pressure. Hope is important, but it works best when accompanied by clear information and professional support.
Guilt does not help; understanding does
Many women and couples start treatment wondering whether they did something wrong, waited too long or could have prevented the situation. But fertility depends on many different factors, and many of them are beyond our control. Replacing guilt with understanding is an important step in taking care of your emotional well-being.
How to manage anxiety
Uncertainty, doubts and waiting are all part of the “journey”. It is important to accept that we cannot remain permanently on alert or afraid. Women who conceive naturally also experience moments of concern during medical check-ups, and unexpected situations can arise.
Everyone experiences the process differently
There is no “right” way to feel. At times you may feel excited; at others, afraid, tired, hopeful, doubtful or angry. You may even experience all these emotions on the same day. Accepting this can help you go through the process without adding another expectation: feeling that you have to be okay all the time.
Look after your relationship
When treatment is experienced as a couple, each partner may cope with it differently. Some people need to express their emotions, while others prefer not to. One partner may take the lead while the other goes with the flow; one may question everything while the other prefers not to question anything at all. It is important to listen without judgement, respect each other’s needs and avoid imposing your own views on the other person.
It is also important not to let everything revolve around fertility treatment. Try to find other plans and projects that you can enjoy and share together. Life and your relationship as a couple are about more than whether or not you become parents.
Set boundaries around outside “noise”
Well-intentioned comments are not always helpful. Phrases such as “just relax”, “don’t think about it” or “I’m sure it’ll work next time” can be difficult to hear. Choosing what to share, with whom and when is also part of taking care of yourself.
Keep living your life and making other plans
The process can take up a lot of mental space, but it should not take over everything. Taking part in activities you enjoy, planning trips with your partner or outings with friends, maintaining small routines that make you feel good, exercising regularly and making time to switch off can help remind you that life does not have to be “put on hold” during treatment.
Give yourself time to make decisions
During treatment, medical, emotional, financial or personal issues may arise that require you to make decisions. Whenever possible, give yourself time and avoid making decisions when you are exhausted or feel under pressure. Taking a moment, asking questions and considering your options can help you make choices with greater clarity and confidence.
Seeking psychological support is not a sign of weakness or an indication that something is going wrong
Specialist psychological support can help you manage uncertainty, expectations, your relationship with your partner, decision-making and the emotional impact of the process. Just as the medical aspects of treatment deserve attention, so does your emotional well-being.
Frequently asked questions
When is it advisable to seek psychological support during IVF?
It may be advisable when anxiety, sadness, fear or frustration become difficult to manage and start affecting your everyday life, your relationship or your ability to make decisions. Psychological support can also be useful as a preventive measure to help you cope better with the uncertainty of treatment. The European Society of Human Reproduction and Embryology (ESHRE) recommends identifying emotional needs before and during assisted reproduction and providing specialist support when necessary.
How can I cope with the two-week wait?
It is normal to experience uncertainty and worry during the two-week wait. Maintaining your usual routines, relying on people you trust and doing activities you enjoy can help. Try to avoid isolating yourself, constantly thinking about the treatment or repeatedly looking for signs or symptoms that might indicate whether it has worked.
How can I cope with a negative IVF result?
A negative result can cause sadness, frustration, anger or a sense of loss, even if other people see it as simply “one attempt”. It is important to give yourself time to process what has happened, make space for sadness, grief or frustration, seek support and avoid feeling pressured to decide immediately whether to start another treatment. It is not about giving up, but about giving yourself time to recover.
Remember:
Assisted reproduction is not just a medical treatment: it is a life experience. Going through it in the best possible way does not mean having no doubts, but having access to reliable information, professional support and open communication, and giving yourself permission to feel what you feel and take the time you need to make decisions.
